Do You Have A Letter ‘M’ On The Palm Of Your Hand? By Jim Villamor

Palmistry is an ancient art whose roots have been traced back several thousand years to India, where it was born from Hindu astrology and first mentioned in the Chinese book the I Ching. It quickly spread all over Asia and Europe, whereupon Aristotle took up an interest in it and passed the knowledge on to Alexander the Great. The Macedonian king often used it to judge the character of his military officers and would closely read the lines of their palms. It must have helped him out because in fifteen years of nonstop conquest he never lost a single battle.

The practice has since endured throughout the ages. Today, most people view it as pseudo-science and are quick to dismiss it as superstitious beliefs. Part of why people are so skeptical is that they don’t truly understand it. They only know what they see in the media, and it has been wrongly portrayed in the many books, films, and TV shows that have touched upon it over the years. If you’re further interested in the subject, this video does an excellent job introducing and describing what the main lines and patterns on your palm signify.

One specific attribute that people often wonder about is the appearance of the letter “M” on the palm of the hand. The letter comes into formation by the way major lines, mainly the heart, head, and life lines, both appear and align on the palm. Not all people have such a defined marking, it’s even kind of rare, and those who do have one are said to be special. They are blessed with good fortune and thrive in the careers they choose because they have strong self-motivation and discipline. Oftentimes they end up pursuing jobs in the legal or political field and work their way up to top management positions. They are seen as gifted individuals who hold extraordinary intuition and because of this they make strong business partners in any endeavor they set their heart and minds to.
Furthermore, people whose palms have the letter M are masters at seeing through lies and deceit. Not much gets past them and they almost always figure out if someone is less than honest, lying, or cheating. This sense of intuition is often stronger in women than in men, but it comes down to the individual. Overall, the letter M has long been associated with the aforementioned traits, as well as the following qualities in life; leadership, good fortune, riches, and excellent prospects.
I would love to know who else has this letter M on their palms… Maybe we’re meant to join forces and work together in some way!!! 
With Love Jim Villamor 

11 triggers to avoid depression over the holiday by Jim Villamor

It’s a myth that suicide is more common around the holidays (springtime is actually the peak). But holiday cheer isn’t a given either.
High expectations, money woes, and other holiday hazards can spell trouble for anyone, but especially those prone to depression.
With a bit of foresight and planning, however, holidays can leave you feeling up, not down. Follow these tips for a successful holiday.Coping with depression. 
1. Plan ahead
Spend some time figuring out how to take care of yourself during this time, says John Sharp, MD, a psychiatrist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, in Boston.
Come up with restorative routines, such as reading a book or napping, and write them on a calendar. In between shopping and baking, make sure these routines don’t fall by the wayside.
“Figure out what basics are going to help you get through the holidays and make them a priority,” Dr. Sharp says.
2. Avoid family conflict
There are a couple ways to save your sanity at family gatherings, says Jeffrey Greeson, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Duke University School of Medicine, in Durham, N.C.
If you know there are going to be conflicts, prepare a neutral response, such as, “Let’s talk about that another time,” or, “I can see how you would feel that way.”
Then escape to the restroom, offer to help in the kitchen, or go hang out with the kids. And it always helps to call a good friend if you need a sympathetic ear.
3. Forget perfection
Debbie Thurman, a 57-year-old school teacher suffered from depression for years, and the holidays made it worse. From decorating to finding the perfect gifts, she felt overwhelmed.
After a friends suggestion, she listed the simple things that really made her family happy, and she began traditions that helped the less fortunate.
“When you take your eyes off of yourself and focus on those who have far less than you do, you can’t be depressed,” she says. “I learned to be grateful for the blessings I had, and I had a lot.”
4 Learn to grieve
If you are mourning a loved one, it’s a good time to talk about your feelings or reach out to support groups.
“There’s no one right way to feel,” says Deborah Jonsson, public relations manager at Avow Hospice. It’s not uncommon to feel angry at the person for leaving you alone or feeling guilty if you do enjoy yourself during the holidays.
“All feelings are a sign that you’re human and reflect where you are in your healing process,” Jonsson says.
5. Sleep
Holiday activities easily can interfere with your sleep schedule. But studies have shown there is a link between sleep loss and depression, so you need to be extra careful about cutting back on sleep to get everything done.
Try to get to bed and wake up at approximately the same time every day; avoid large meals and physical activity such as dancing within a few hours of bedtime; and make your bedroom a sleep sanctuary, free from TV or other distractions, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
6. Get help
When Thurman’s children were young, she and her husband lived far away from their extended family. When she needed support during “black bouts of depression,” she leaned on close friends.
She and her husband had two couples in particular that helped them through difficult times. “These friends were godsends,” she says.
“I credit them with quite possibly helping to save my life,” she says. “I also drew encouragement from a small support group of women who were dealing with depression.”
7. Exercise 
Exercise—one of the first activities to get lost in the holiday shuffle—should be placed high on your to-do list.
“The more stress we are under, the less time we feel like we have, and the more irritated our mood, the more we need to continue exercising,” Greeson says. “Get out and do something; it helps use those calories from rich, fatty, sugary holiday foods.”
Exercise has been shown to improve mood. Taking a brisk walk for 35 minutes five days a week (or 60 minutes three times a week) can do the trick.
8. Light exposure
If you are consistently tired, irritable, and down at this time of year, it may not be due to the holidays as much as to the lack of exposure to the sun, Dr. Sharp says.
Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, can be treated by long walks during daylight hours or exposure to a light box for about 30 minutes a day.
If you think you may be suffering from SAD, talk to your doctor about treatment options.
9. Financial matters
The holidays shouldn’t be all about the presents, but financial woes can make it easy to lose sight of that.
Rein in the stress (and cost) by organizing a gift exchange with friends or family. You can also bake your gifts, or create traditions such as having a large potluck meal followed by a walk outside or board games by the fire.
“I think saying no is more of a relief instead of stretching and spending more than you have and still not doing enough,” Dr. Sharp says.
10. Avoid binging on food or alcohol
For some, overindulgence is as much of a holiday tradition as opening gifts. Carmen Harra, PhD, an author and psychologist in Hollywood, Fla., recommends more restraint.
“Have one piece of pie, not three,” she says. “Apart from being unhealthy for your body, you will feel guilty afterward.”
Harra recommends preparing for holiday dinners by eating healthy meals the week prior. And don’t use alcohol to deal with holiday depression. Alcohol can intensify your emotions and leave you feeling worse when it wears off.

  1. Pull back on commitments
    If you feel like you just can’t get through one more holiday gathering, it’s OK to sit them out.
    “One of the things about holiday stress we forget is that Thanksgiving and Christmas are both 24 hours and that’s it,” says Pauline Wallin, PhD, an author and clinical psychologist in Camp Hill, Penn.
    Wallin recommends figuring out what you need to get through those 24 hours, such as volunteering, going on vacation, or visiting a shelter or someone who is alone. Focusing on others can help alleviate depression.
    I hope this helps! Sending love & light to everyone over this festive season! 

With love Jim 

What I Wish I Had Done Diffently- Addiction Within My Family 

A while back, I received an e-mail from a concerned mother. In it, she described her son’s addiction. She spoke about several experiences that were similar to my own when my brother was in active addiction some years ago. She told me about how she had done this and that trying to help. She was scared she was going to lose her son.

She then asked me a simple question: “What do you wish you had done differently?”

It was a tricky question. Some may even say it was a trick question. Looking for the silver lining has been the quest of every person who I’ve spoken to on this topic.  In fact, it was even my quest for many  years while my brother struggled with his alcohol  addiction until 8 years ago. 
For a while after she wrote, the woman’s question remained in the back of my mind. It caused me great anxiety. I simply didn’t have an adequate answer.
What do I wish I had done differently? At first, I thought of all of the little mistakes I made. Perhaps, if added up, they would have made a difference. Maybe some of the small changes might even have prevented some of those difficult times or maybe not. Yet, this response did not satisfy me. After a few weeks of deliberation, I finally discovered a better answer.

“I would have learned to listen.”

First, I would have learned to listen to my brother more. What does an addicted person really have to say worth listening too? All along through his words and actions he told me there was nothing I could do to fix him. But as a family member I thought that it was my job to fix the situation. . That’s what families  do, we fix things. I spent years of trying to fix him, despite the fact that he was telling me not to.
I would have also learned to listen to counselors and other family members who had simular experiences. 

 “Listening” is very different than searching for answers. Getting answers to questions or “what to do” solutions assume that there is a single answer or methodology that will awaken not just you but also your addicted loved one from their preceived nightmare.
I would have learned to listen to my own internal struggles about what I am told. What have I heard, what do I feel and why am I scared? My emotional reactions were a result of unresolved internal struggles.

 Finally, I would have learned to listen to my heart and my head. Most of the time one or the other wins. My heart reminds me that where there is life, there is hope. It allows me to love someone that by all accounts seems to be unlovable at times. Yet my head reminds me of the reality of addiction. Heart verses head is not a win/lose struggle. Your heart and your head should work together. It is possible for your heart to accept that your loved one may die. It is also possible for your head to understand that there may not be an answer for addiction and loving for just today is all you get.

Listening is hard. After all, nobody will ever love your child or family member in the unique way  you do. As a parent  you fed them , changed them, raised them  and provided for their every need. 

Listening to your child or loved one is hard when loving and caring for them  has always been an instinct.

So quite simply …What do I wish I had done differently? I wish I had learned how to listen sooner.

By listening you “learn”, by listening you minimize “assumptions”  and by listening you demonstrate “respect”,  not only to your loved one but to yourself!  
To help listen you must practice asking “open ended questions” such as using How, What, Where, When and Why. Avoid asking yes or no questions  as it immediately stops the open conversation required for a proper listening experience. 
For any questions or suggestions on this listening  practice please feel free to contact me or leave a comment so I can help you further. 
Listening with  kindness 

 Jim Villamor 

Brother /Counsellor/ Humanitarium 

5 Health Benefits of Forgiveness

Buddha once said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Most of us equate this “burn” to psychological distress; after all, holding a grudge causes you more mental pain than the person who did you wrong.

But did you know that holding a grudge can cause you physical pain as well? You’d be doing your body as well as your mind some good if you took the path of forgiveness instead. There are many health benefits of forgiveness that may make you rethink whether that grudge is really worth it. But first…

…What is Forgiveness?

Some confuse forgiving with just verbally accepting an apology, but that’s not true. Although saying “it’s okay” often goes hand in hand with forgiveness, these things are not one in the same.
In order to forgive you must let go of your anger and negative thoughts and forgive the person deep within yourself as well as outwardly. You can even do this without a true apology, if the person doesn’t feel they are wrong or has too much pride.

Forgiveness is not just a formality, but a state of mind. And that loving, accepting state of mind can lift you from a lot of burdens—mentally andphysically.

5 Health Benefits of Forgiveness

  1. Lowers stress levels

According to a study done by Hope College reseachers, one of the benefits of forgiveness is lower amounts of cortisol.
Researchers examined 71 participants and their physical responses when they spoke about grudges as opposed to when they spoke about forgiveness and empathy. Those who exhibited more forgiving perspectives had lower physiological stress responses.
2. Keeps your heart healthy
Forgiveness is good for the heart—literally. One study suggests that people who hold on to grudges tend to have higher heart rates, while those who are more empathetic and able to forgive tend to have lower heart rates.

Why hold onto anger when it will make your heart do more work than it needs to do?
3. Lowers pain

Having a forgiving heart may lower both emotional and physical pain, according to a study done by Duke University Medical Center researchers. Out of 61 subjects who suffered from chronic back pain, those who were more likely to forgive reported lower levels of pain, leading researchers to believe that “a relationship appears to exist between forgiveness and important aspects of living with persistent pain.”
4. Lowers blood pressure
Letting go of that anger you’ve been harboring might lower your blood pressure. Studies show that forgiveness is linked to lower blood pressure.
5. Extends life
Your grudges might be shaving years off your life. According to one study, after testing adults ages 66 and older and determining their ability to forgive, those who were more forgiving in nature tended to live longer. Forgive, and you’ll live!
The Takeaway

True forgiveness is easier said than done. It can be difficult, especially if someone truly upset you in a way that contradicted your values and morals. However, it’s important to remember that holding that grudge is not going to fix anything. That hot coal you’re holding onto is just burning yourself.
Let go of the coal, and you will feel the lift of mental burdens. However, you may also notice your body thanking you through the health benefits of forgiveness: lower stress levels, a healthier heart, higher pain tolerance, lower blood pressure, and even an extended life. The next time someone upsets you, remember to forgive if you want to live happily as well as healthily.

With Love Jim Villamor

Love vs Fear 

LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL (fear is conditional)
LOVE IS STRONG (fear is weak)
LOVE RELEASES (fear obligates)
LOVE SURRENDERS (fear binds)
LOVE IS HONEST (fear is deceitful)
LOVE TRUSTS (fear suspects)
LOVE ALLOWS (fear dictates)
LOVE GIVES (fear resists)
LOVE FORGIVES (fear blames)
LOVE CHOOSES (fear avoids)
LOVE IS KIND (fear is angry)
LOVE IGNITES (fear incites)
LOVE EMBRACES (fear repudiates)
LOVE CREATES (fear negates)
LOVE HEALS (fear hurts)
LOVE IS MAGIC (fear is superstitious)
LOVE ENERGIZES (fear saps)
LOVE IS AN ELIXIR (fear is a poison)
LOVE INSPIRES (fear worries)
LOVE DESIRES (fear Joneses)
LOVE IS PATIENT (fear is nervous)
LOVE IS BRAVE (fear is afraid)
LOVE IS RELAXED (fear is pressured)
LOVE IS BLIND (fear is judgmental)
LOVE RESPECTS (fear disregards)
LOVE ACCEPTS (fear rejects)
LOVE DREAMS (fear schemes)
LOVE WANTS TO PLAY (fear needs to control)
LOVE ENJOYS (fear suffers)
LOVE FREES (fear imprisons)
LOVE BELIEVES (fear deceives)
LOVE “WANTS” (fear “needs”)
LOVE versus fear: what do you feel?

With Love Jim Villamor